Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Outside my window...

What do you see when you look out your window?
I see my neighbour's white wall and their window (always with the blinds half open).
I never see anyone through those half closed blinds but it always freaks me out to think that whoever was walking by that window could see me.

I sometimes wonder whether someone is peeking through, watching me while I try to cram out an essay in the early hours of the morning. (I have a strange tendency to wake up at 3-4am and write until I have to get ready for school at 6:30am, I guess you could call me a morning person?) I wonder if they watch as I scream at the computer, pull at my hair, select the entire text and press delete. I wonder if they can read my lips as I read and reread my entire essay about 10 times.

It's interesting to think that these people/this person I have never even met might know some of my secrets. Do they/does he or she know that instead of doing math homework I design programs for my calculator? Do they know that instead of memorizing my wordly wise vocabulary, I'm learning a whole new language as I read papers about neuroscience on Pubmed? These are the things my parents miss. These are the things my friends miss.

Before I used to wonder if someone actually lived next door. I never saw a car drive up the driveway or a car pull up. I never heard a noise. Then one day, I think early January this year, I heard the piano. I peered out my window and saw that the curtains were shut, but I could make out a faint silhouette of a boy or man. I don't hear the piano often but when I do, it's always lovely - it makes me happy.

Recently I've started to listen to music (something I never used to do). Now, from time to time, I slightly open my window and turn up the speakers on my computer a little louder, hoping that maybe the boy who lives next door can hear it and make him happy.

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